Similar to his research around the five love languages (words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time and physical touch), they discovered there are five distinct ways people apologize: “The supposed apology was not having the desired effect of forgiveness and reconciliation,” Chapman writes in their book When Sorry Isn’t Enough. Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas were observing couples misunderstand each other’s apologies. In each of their counselling offices, Drs. If you’ve ever had a situation with your spouse where they’ve said they apologized, but you don’t think they did, you may be speaking two different languages of apology. If someone wrongs you and says, “I’m sorry,” do you believe them? Or do you need them to say and do more to show the sincerity of their apology?
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